If we say happiness is a choice it may seem difficult to acknowledge when we look at the world around us. Maybe the pursuit of happiness as a choice is a more accurate statement. If we are going to pursue happiness we must be willing to fight for it as Chris Gardner did in the similarly titled movie (Pursuit of Happyness) . Life can at times without our knowing take us to a point where unhappiness has become our norm and we can’t remember a day when we woke up happy. Being happy is not a light switch that we turn on for as we encounter anger, grief, and other difficult situations we must make a decision to take action directing ourselves towards happiness and what our internal state of being will be. We must be equipped to not just survive but to grow stronger more resilient and thrive.

 “What I am looking for is not out there, it is in me” Helen Keller

Volumes of research has been completed around happiness and the 2017 World Happiness Report from the Happiness Research Institute is a more recent publication.

Happiness has a connection to emotional intelligence (EI) and the EQ-i 2.0 model of EI. Research has identified 4 key areas of emotional intelligence that can impact our happiness.

Self-Confidence– Happiness is a result of our inner strength and belief in ourselves. Respecting ourselves and having self-confidence produces positive dialogue and feelings about ourselves.

Strategies to aid in Self Confidence:

Create a Self-Confidence list to identify your strengths and align your efforts with these areas as well as identifying areas where you desire to grow.

Monitor your Self Talk to be aware of when it may shift to unhealthy self-doubt.

Optimism– Balanced optimism can aid us as we encounter life’s challenges and recover from unfortunate events. It can also serve as a beacon of hope to others. Dr. Martin Seligman has researched and written about “Learned Optimism”

Strategies to aid in Optimism:

View challenges from a greater perspective of a temporary situation instead of a permanent one.

Realize that past situations do not dictate future possibilities. Focus on the positive outcomes of your plan.

Self-Actualization– Pursuit of a meaningful life with a willingness to grow and learn contributes to our happiness. A zest for enriching experiences creates opportunity for fulfillment.

Strategies to aid in Self-Actualization:

Reflect on what you are pursuing that is most meaningful and align your efforts accordingly.

Have a clear distinction between what’s important versus what’s meaningful. Many times, important items can take a back seat to what is most meaningful in our lives.

Interpersonal Relationships- While it’s not up to others to make us happy our ability to build healthy emotional relationships can add happiness to our lives. Joy, Love, Hope, are powerful forces for a vibrant life. Also, our relationships can be a buffer and a place of comfort and respite during life’s difficulties. It may be a tough decision to let certain people go but emotions are contagious and consistent negativity will have a toxic impact on us.

Strategies to aid in Interpersonal Relationships:

Build Trust. Reflect on your current relationships and your follow through on commitments. Do you do what you say you will do?

Listen & Empathize. Many of the people we feel closest to are the ones who intentionally listen to us. Being present in the conversation makes the other person feel respected and opens the door to greater communication and a stronger relationship.

Ultimately our happiness is what we define it to be and that is very likely different for all of us. We must remember that everyone around us is fighting some type of battle. Emptiness, loneliness, and anxiety are sometimes seen but many times hidden. While we fight for ourselves we can aid others in their fight by sharing kindness, gratitude, friendliness, a kind word and a smile. Moments create momentum. Create a happiness moment in your life and that of another and who knows how big that wave might become.

We appreciate you taking the time to read this blog and hope that it provided value for the time spent in reading it. 

If you’d ever like to chat about emotional intelligence please feel free to send us a note. Contact Us.

All the best,

Ed & Chris Hennessy

#emotionalintelligence