I’m leaning into my transition from almost 21 years of active duty Air Force service to a “pure civilian.”
Emotional intelligence and resilience skills help me “keep calm and carry on.” I’m grateful they are skills in the literal sense – they can be improved with practice. They’re useful every day in every way, and I’m finding them especially vital now.
If you are experiencing a milestone transition, this content may also benefit you.
I like to summarize emotional intelligence as knowing ourselves and others to better relate to ourselves and others in a healthy and whole way. Resilience is embedded in the spirit and intent of that summary.
Takeaway #1: Your real identity is not a title.
My self-perception is relatively high. In general, I’ve identified my “why” as being a helper, encourager and teacher many moons ago. But… this milestone transition has given me questions. Can my passion for equal opportunity, resilience, diversity and self-awareness translate purposefully into the civilian world?
Many parts of my old identity are gone or morphed. Senior Master Sergeant? Sure, in a retired way. Superintendent or manager? Nope. Advising leaders at all levels? Negative. Serving a 23,000-person customer base? No. Supervisor? No.
So who am I now? A key question for anyone during milestone transitions.
Who I am hasn’t changed. I still value things like dignity, respect, equality, fairness, kindness, love, education and altruism. I’m still able to write, paint, lead, manage, budget and train. I am still outgoing, energetic, confident and idealistic.
Likewise, your values, strengths, personality and abilities haven’t changed in a milestone transition – only your job.
Takeaway #2: Stay humble and adaptable; there are many ways to do the write thing (pun intended).
Moving back to my “heart home” has been amazing, but now without challenges. Since I started my journalism internship opportunity and immersed myself with family activities prior to my full retirement, I’ve felt peace, sadness, anxiety, doubt, disappointment, relief, thankfulness, excitement, pride, happiness and a spectrum of other emotions.
Identifying the activating event which caused that emotional reaction helps me frame my experience in an unbiased way. I don’t jump into the downward spiral of doom and I also don’t hop onto the cloud of rainbows and unicorns.
That self-awareness also helps me appropriately express myself, maintain my personal and professional network, better communicate with others, make appropriate decisions and strengthen my resolve.
Learning a different writing style has been a worthwhile challenge. My mentor reprogrammed my words and approach – I came off as factually boring and direct while simultaneously using confusing military jargon. I quickly learned the report writing days of my past were long gone and I had to cater to my new audience. I’ve been able to anticipate what my mentor expects and needs, grow into my roles and responsibilities and find my place on this new team.
Takeaway #3: Failure does not disqualify you from your purpose; stay optimistic.
As a planner, I’m keenly aware I need to prepare for a financially sound future. I used my social support to review my resume. I attended the transition class twice before leaving my base. I search Indeed, Ziprecruiter, LinkedIn, USAJobs and other sites.
So far, I’ve applied to approximately 11 jobs – each without a phone call or meeting the next hiring selection step. These rejections may be due to timing. I have three months until I can be hired, and they may need someone now. It may be that I am not what they are looking for. I may be overqualified or underqualified. I may not have translated my military career into their organizational terms.
While I wait for January, I’m embracing my growth journey and keeping my eyes on the prize. I’m meeting new people and expanding my abilities.
I’m convinced this transition is made easier as I practice and solidify my emotional intelligence and resilience skills.
Melinda (Mindy) Morris is a transitioning Air Force Senior Master Sergeant. Mindy is passionate about helping and encouraging others and was fortunate to gain experience within the Air Force model Equal Opportunity program, resilience, positive psychology, leadership, diversity and inclusion and conflict resolution. Mindy has a SHRM-CP certification and is trained to independently facilitate True Colors personality tests, Emotional Intelligence and DISC. In September 2018, she authored “Humanity’s Favorite Flaws…. And How to Overcome Them.”
