Halloween is right around the corner so it’s time to talk about tricks & treats and of course zombies. Groaning, oozing, stinking, decaying zombies, do we really want them showing up in our lives? However, when we bury emotions, we are setting ourselves up for a possible zombie emotion apocalypse. Our buried emotions tend to fester and transform into something more toxic than they were originally. Research from Psychology Today and the American Psychological Association through many articles share the negative impacts of emotional suppression such as:

  • Sleep Disorders
  • High Blood Pressure
  • Increased Stress
  • Low Energy
  • Digestive Issues
  • Potential Substance Abuse 

Ultimately and at usually the wrong time the emotions come out of their burial and wreak havoc in our lives.  Emotional Intelligence skills provide a solution to handling emotions that have been buried and also a path to increased emotional well-being in staying present with current emotions. Let’s grab a flashlight as the thunder booms, lightning flashes, the wind howls and venture into the creaking old mansion and explore.

Did you know that there are 350 types of Zombies? 350 Kinds Of Zombies, Explained (fastcompany.com) The good news is that research shows there are only about 27 different emotions How Many Different Human Emotions Are There? (berkeley.edu) so our odds of success in battling our zombie emotions is much greater than actual zombies.

Here are anti zombie emotion strategies and the emotional intelligence skills that support their success.

Pause for an Emotional Time Out

Emotional Self Awareness is the ideal place to begin to prevent the zombie emotion apocalypse. The definition of the skill also reveals a strategy for development. “Recognizing and understanding one’s own emotions. This includes the ability to differentiate between subtleties in one’s own emotions while understanding the cause of these emotions and the impact they have on the thoughts and actions of oneself and others.”  Pausing to look at ourselves in the mirror (unless you’re a vampire and won’t see anything) to identify what we are experiencing (anxiety or frustration) allows us to understand the emotion, the potential impact, and then take action on it in the moment. Asking ourselves “What would my best self do right now?” can be a good start. Additional strategies that aid developing our awareness include journaling to allow us to grab that shovel and dig for a deeper reflection and understanding of ourselves in those moments, and not judging ourselves by using “I feel” statements not “I am statements”

Communicate

You know that strange sensation when there’s a full moon and an amygdala hijack might cause our inner werewolf to come out? Impulse Control is “the ability to resist or delay an impulse, drive or temptation to act and involves avoiding rash behaviors and decision making” and will be essential to a timely well received message. The more powerful the emotions to express the more we might need to spend some time with them before responding. However, the key is that we must communicate once able. In the moment, sometimes 5 deep breaths can give us the space that we need. If it’s a zombie emotion coming out, we may need a long walk around the creepy swamp. Additional skills for effective communication include Assertiveness and Emotional Expression. Assertiveness will always maintain a “we” focus allowing for an impactful and clear message. One suggestion is to have a specific goal or desired mutually beneficial outcome (mutually beneficial is key, people don’t respond well to the goal oriented headless horseman) to help your message stay on track. Also, be aware the other person will want to respond at some point and when they do, keep your head and never interrupt.  Assertiveness shifts to aggression if we start using statements that are more “me” focused creating a disconnect with the other party. Maintaining a mutual level of respect is critical. Emotional Expression will support our Assertiveness giving the appropriate level of emotional energy to our words aligned to our non-verbal gestures. It’s important to express to the other person what you feel, what actions of theirs caused the feeling and what actions from them you’d like to see going forward. Using the energy of negative emotions for a positive outcome can be a challenge as the cauldron begins to bubble. However, it is possible and one suggestion is to carefully watch the other person’s body language for a measure of the impact of your message and adjust your energy accordingly.

Recognize, Reward, Rejuvenate

Grow forward. You’ve created positive momentum. As you sit around the campfire in the eerily dark woods give yourself time to reflect on past scenarios and what you might have done differently. Also identify what upcoming opportunities there may be for you. Be aware, be very aware of the apparitions, strange forest sounds, creeping crawling creatures that may try to distract you. Celebrate your success! You’ve earned it. Skittles, Reese’s, Snickers, Atomic Fireballs, Twizzlers, Milk Duds, and more but make sure the packaging is unbroken. Navigating through difficult conversations is not easy and it may not ever be easy but if we keep the emotions present in the light of day they won’t get buried and fester returning when we least need them.  Battling zombies is hard work, It’s stressful, smelly and exhausting. It’s time to refill yourself with optimism, joy, peace, laughter and don’t forget the candy corn.

Enjoy the Tricks and Treats of the Halloween Season!

Ed & Chris Hennessy