Many years ago, between my junior and senior year in college I was fortunate to be chosen to attend the Cadet Flight Training Orientation Program (CFTOP). Since I had already committed to the Army to be commissioned after I graduated this program guaranteed me Aviation as my service branch. Once I finished ROTC basic at Fort Bragg the summer of my Junior year, I and 13 others traveled to Fort Rucker, Alabama which is the home of Army Aviation.
I don’t know if you’ve ever experienced Alabama in late July but just imagine getting in a heavy sleeping bag and then getting in a hot shower. It is brutally humid and hot. After a few days of classroom instruction learning about flight dynamics and aircraft controls, they took us to the airfield to meet our instructor pilots. As luck would have it my instructor pilot was the most grizzled of the crew with what seemed an ever-present scowl on his face. I am not sure if I ever saw his eyes as the Ray Ban sunglasses seemed a permanent fixture. However, there were many times I could feel his hidden gaze reaching into my very being. To say he was a weathered warrior with more flying experience in one finger than I would ever have was an understatement. Also, as this was many years ago his approach to instruction included a variety of colorful descriptions delivered in rapid fire that dare not be questioned.
As we strapped into the TH-55 (training helicopter) which in reality seemed like a plastic bubble with no doors, connected to a lawnmower engine with a few flimsy rotor blades, I followed the barked instructions and the little engine jumped to life. This is where the connection to emotional intelligence development comes in focus. EI or EQ as many call it can be studied, assessed, reviewed, and discussed just as we had studied the dynamics of flight, but at some point, if EQ is to be developed you’ve got to take control of your EQ skills and begin using them. As we sat in the tiny cockpit with no doors the scorching hot and 100% humid wind was blowing through us, he instructed me to lift the helicopter up to a hover. “Sure, no problem” I thought, I had just watched him do it and it seemed simple enough. The helicopter hadn’t left the ground but maybe a few inches and suddenly we were looking skyward and rapidly drifting backwards. I remember his voice coming through the link in my helmet” Son, try and keep the helicopter in Alabama.” Quickly he took the controls and the helicopter came to a perfect 3 foot off the ground hover.
Developing emotional intelligence can be like this experience. What looks so natural for others can be an awkward challenge as we try and develop our skill of interest. When hovering a helicopter, you are working with typically 3 different axis, Up & Down, Left & Right, and Forward & Backward. For me, it’s like when I started trying to develop more Empathy. I was having to focus on what was being said, how it was being said, what wasn’t being, said, listening to understand, and conveying I had taken all that in when the other person stopped talking. Needless to say, there can be a lot going on. Every day for a week we’d find ourselves in that tiny cockpit as over and over again I would attempt to learn how to fly.
Eventually, I was successful and over time I was able to build upon the skills I learned culminating in flying the AH-64 Attack Helicopter. Skimming the treetops in the darkness was an incredible experience. As your emotional intelligence skills strengthen to an advanced level what was originally awkward will become second nature. It can be done with an intentional focus. The keys to emotional intelligence development are completing a scientifically validated assessment, debrief of your results by a certified practitioner/coach, a development plan with periodic coaching, along with plenty of opportunity to practice your skills. While my flying days are now a fun but distant memory my emotional intelligence development is an exciting work in progress. As we embrace the ebb and flow of life our ability to leverage our EQ skills will impact us and those around us in many ways. It may be increased confidence and awareness, more effective communication skills and leadership presence, stronger relationships and team engagement, objective and unbiased problem solving and reduction of conflict, enhanced resilience, stress tolerance, or increased emotional well-being. For these reasons and many more, there’s never been a better time to let your EQ Development take flight!
O.K. Pilot, Take the controls !
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