By Mindy Finholm Morris, Start with Self LLC Owner
My metastatic breast cancer diagnosis was unexpected; cancer is not something my family is genetically predisposed to. That factor changed forever in October 2021. Like with my other life challenges and stressors ( such as competing priorities, basic training, constant change, marriage, birth of my daughter, failures, divorce, military retirement, death of loved ones, conflict, finding a civilian job)… I leaned into the resilience skills developed over my lifetime.
I understand resilience to be the ability to bounce back and learn from life’s stressors; our resilience pillars are like four tires on a car – we need to be balanced mentally, spiritually, physically and socially.
If we are trees, the early storms, setbacks and disappointments in life make it so we are able to stay adaptable and flexible during a hurricane. Our roots are strong and we will not break. If we are a lotus flower, we bloom in murky waters. If we are diamonds, our beauty is created by extreme pressure. If we are butterflies, we lived our life one way and instincts made us turn into goo within a dark self-made structure to become something gloriously different. Those stressful and unexpected life moments teach you healthy coping mechanisms like the ability to focus on what you can control, take a deep breath, and engage your social and spiritual support strength.
How you frame life events in your mind is critical in your ability to cope. Do you see life as a challenge – where new experiences are exciting and you can learn and develop from them? Stay curious and open to what can be? Do you have an internal locus of control – where you believe you have the ability to influence life events and outcomes? You cannot control the weather, catastrophes or other people – but you can control the way you react to them. Do you have a strong commitment to view both the exciting and mundane days as interesting, meaningful and purposeful? Those are the three qualities assessed in the Hardiness Resilience Gauge (HRG) and give you a Mighty Mindset.
Having a mighty mindset is a skill that can be developed over time if you are not naturally shredded to have this perspective. And even if you show a natural propensity to hardiness, understanding your ranges can help you hone them even more. Set your mind to view life as a growth challenge that you can influence, committed to make meaning in each breath, moment, day, week, month, year, and lifetime.
